I Got A Guilt Streak That's +2 Against Your Face...

I am 28 years old. Come November, I will begin counting down the final 365 to 30. And despite my soon-to-be-advanced age, I still manage to cling to my youthful enthusiasms: movies, video games, mac & cheese, etc. But one former favorite fell by the wayside long ago, and it still kind of pains me to think of it.



Advanced Dungeons and Dragons was a brief obsession of mine. I'd estimate I spent only about two years of my life getting into the whole role playing thing. And yet, I still recall it fondly, and even miss it a little bit. Sometimes I think about heading over to the shuttering Borders and grabbing a Dungeon Master's guide, rounding up a few like minded individuals and throwing down with a quest. Hell, I just want a 20-sided die. Is that wrong? It seems like it's wrong. For a grown man to want to play AD&D seems horribly wrong.

And I don't care.

Back in 1997, when I was more athletic than I ever will be again, I played basketball for my middle school. In fact, I was a starter for my team. It was the B-Team, but so what. I still started, and once I scored 8 points in a game, so yeah, I was kind of a big deal. However, before the B-Team got to stink it up with our clearly-not-as-good-as-the-A-Team ball skills, the all-the-tall-kids-and-guys-with-legit-talent A-Team got to play. And what did myself and my B-Team rejects do? We opened treasure chests, saved princesses, slew dragons and rolled dice to see if Bushman's dwarf would get pantsed. It was wonderful.

I even dabbled in Star Wars: The Role Playing Game. Mounted a couple campaigns, making my questers fight loads of Stormtroopers, steal a decommissioned TIE Fighter prototype with hyperdrive, saved saved princesses and rolled dice to see if Bushman's Ewok got de-loinclothed.

Yeah, I played a lot of that nerdy, dweeby, spazzy, geeky, losery stuff. I ran through Magic: The Gathering, Star Wars: The Customizable Collectible Card Game, Pogs...the works. And through it all, nothing ever beat rolling dice to make your half-elf thief even more dextrous. Nothing could top stumbling upon a hidden treasure chest and discovering some secret weapon. And nothing ever beat the good times. Sitting round, laughing, joking, eating, chilling. Good ass times.



Seriously, some day, I will get my hands on an AD&D book, some little lead knights and dice of many assorted sides, and when the day comes, be warned: Mark Rosenthal will be no more. Nay, he shall be replaced by his High Lordness, The Lord Rosenthallus, Lord of The Dungeon.

Okay, went a bit far at the end there. But you get the idea. Epic D&D game at my place some day. Gonna kick ass. And I'm not the only one who loves this shit. Just ask The Pacifier himself...