I have had a plethora of guilty pleasure influences in my life, but one person single handedly steered me to the guilty pleasure seeking missile I am today. Back in 2001, I was just starting college. I had packed up and moseyed on up to Toronto to study crazy make-em ups, and I didn't know anybody. In fact, for the first few months of school, I spent a majority of my time alone in my tiny, Turkish prison cell-esque room, playing Final Fantasy VII or VIII or eating Carl Buddig lunch meat out of the package, dipped in mayonnaise of course. I wasn't a savage.
Ryan Hipgrave was one of the first people who got me to emerge from my wee, refrigerator box-like room. Over my two years of college, he took me out to karaoke, to London, ON to see his former band, to Montreal, and finally, to guilty pleasure greatness. I learned at the feet of the master. Here are just a few of the "lessons" he imparted onto me:
1. "Africa" is the best song ever. We played in a two man, acoustic comedy band that specialized in comedic originals about 'bating to Kathy Bates and a smattering of bongo-augmented covers. Our big "hit," if a band that only played 2-3 gigs EVER could have a hit, was a medley that included "Come On Eileen," "Louie, Louie," "Come Sail Away," "Ice, Ice Baby" and the aforementioned "Africa," by the thankfully immortal Toto. The Whisky Slips were ahead of their time, and some day, unlike the South, will hopefully rise again... Anyhoo, to this day, I still listen to "Africa" constantly, and have also come to embrace the rest of Toto's library, especially the Hipgrave-endorsed "Georgy Porgy," a funky slice of lite jazz pop that is so filled with hooks, were you to drop it into the ocean, it would cause the mass extinction of at least 367 species of hook-attracted fish.
2. "Cool As Ice" is a stunning achievement of bad film. I'll never forget the night I went over to Ryan's place, far from the confines of my little, diorama-sized dorm. We had a twelve pack of Keith's, which I accidentally dropped, sacrificing several beers to the Parking Lot Gods. He sat me down and brought unto me Vanilla Ice's first, and sadly last, starring vehicle. Featuring "Family Ties" Michael Gross, "Cool As Ice" is one of the best bad movies of all time. Terrible acting, terrible rapping, and possibly the worst fight choreography outside of Star Wars FanFilmDom one could ever bear witness to. After the flick, we watched a beauty pageant hosted by the Kmet himself, Steve Kmetko. Wonderful.
3. Montreal. The road was treacherous, the poutine plentiful, the beer supposedly from Egypt (HEK!) and yet one of my fondest memories was jamming to the guilty pleasure mix Ryan curated for the road. It included stone cold classics I still revere to this very day, including, but not limited to: "Poison" by Bel Biv Devoe, "When I Get You Alone" by the Artist Formerly Known As Thicke and my personal fave, "Your Woman" by White Town. No album of the last 50 years was so effing terrible from top to bottom as "Women In Technology," yet no song perfectly sums up every awesomely fantasticular aspect of guilty pleasurism than "Your Woman." We tried to bring it back, resuscitate it back to living, breathing relevance, and as far as I am concerned, succeeded. Your welcome, White Town.
There was so much more. Styx, cheap wings, Tape Heads (not guilty, but definitely cult) and so on and on and on. Ryan Hipgrave taught me to seek out the awful and find the beauty in it. And for that, I am eternally grateful. Thank you sir, you truly are, and I truly mean this, a King among Men. Now enjoy this classic jam that I woke up to almost every morning, courtesy of yet another Hipgrave-approved mix. It's the Incredible Bongo Band, from their greatest hits package "The Incredible Bongo Year: 1969-1970." (That's my title for it at least)
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